If you’ve never played online poker at the “micro-limit” ($.25-$.50 or lower) cash games, you’re in for a real poker education. Since most players at that level are inexperienced, on tilt or just plain bad, you’ll see a variety of plays you won’t find in any poker book or instructional video. Here are some tidbits to remember when you decide to go “slumming” at the baby-limit tables.
Call preflop with anything suited. Don’t let those bullies bluff you off of anything. Besides, your buy in is usually $5 or less, so what’s the big deal if you lose? Call down a raise and a re-raise with King-Six of Hearts. When you river the flush, you’ll win all of your opponents’ money and you’ll earn their respect. Remember, when they say, “you suck” and “you f^&*#in donkey”, that’s how they express their awe and reverence at your brilliant strategy.
Raise with any ace. Most poker book authors teach you to throw away hands lower than Ace-Jack, but those guys never played micro-limits. They don’t understand how the game is played “in the trenches”. Even if there’s a raise and an all-in re-raise in front, go ahead and push in all your chips with Ace-Three offsuit. When an ace hits the flop, you’ll destroy those losers holding pocket kings or queens.
Chase, chase, and chase some more. Just because the pot odds don’t justify a call for your inside straight draw or runner-runner flush, doesn’t mean you should be scared. America was built on people who ignored the odds, right? Sometimes, when you throw good money after bad, both the good and the bad money come back to you!
Go all-in preflop with garbage. If you think poker should be a game of chicken and not a game of strategy, then here’s a tip for you. If you go all-in with nothing, then they have to have something to call you. If they call with a big hand, then you still have a chance to suck out and make them look foolish. If their big hand holds up, they just got lucky to wake up with a hand to beat you. After all, poker is about luck and bluffs – patience and skill are for LOOOOO-SERS!
Chat abusively and constantly. Etiquette, Shmetiquette. Trash talk these nits and rocks, and encourage them to gamble it up! Brag about how great you are! If they fold, then they’re wusses for not playing against you. If they call, then they’re idiots for daring to play against you. If they raise, they’re suicidal for trying to play against you. Never hesitate to critique and insult opponents whenever the opportunity arises.
While most of these tips work best online, you can try to transfer some of this behavior to a live environment. These tactics always work, especially in the toughest, seediest local underground cardroom. You’ll get even more chances to practice these ideas with your fellow patients in the emergency room after you get curbstomped. You won’t even need sunglasses to hide your tells, as your two black eyes should do the job nicely.
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