With the conclusion of the WSOP, another season of major poker tournaments comes to a close. Most of the big-name pros will be settling in for the holidays and preparing for the new year.

While some readers may believe that Thanksgiving is too early to think about New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to consider this my list of things to be thankful for – if they were removed from the game.

Obnoxious online punks. I don’t care how many hands you’ve played online, TeddyKGB8675309, you still have no clue how to play live. To paraphrase a popular poker t-shirt, your sunglasses, baseball cap, iPod, hooded sweatshirt and silly card protector can’t hide the fact that you suck.

Loud celebrations or tantrums. I must admit, when I watched Hevad Khan’s antics at the 2007 Main Event, I wanted to reach through my TV screen and punch him in the mouth. This year, thanks to his newfound maturity and the WSOP’s new rule against excessive celebration, Khan has managed to maintain both his level of play and his dignity.

Of course, dignity and decorum have never been the strong suits of a certain former world champion. Now, if only Pollack and Co. would create rules against berating other players, abusing dealers and treating every bad beat like a miscarriage of justice. If we can have a “Hevad Khan” rule, can we please have a “Phil Hellmuth” rule?

The UIGEA. This awkward bill was snuck into law through legislative chicanery and, come January 19th, it will take effect the same way. As I mentioned in an earlier piece, the funds to solve the current financial crisis will have to come from somewhere. Hopefully, the new administration will see online gaming in general (or at least online poker in particular) as an untapped economic reservoir and not as a pernicious moral threat.

Demonization of poker. Politicians, preachers and other self-appointed moral guardians continue to see poker as a reckless game of chance played by thugs, thieves and con artists. Of course, these are typically the same people that portray Wall Street as a bastion of stability and moral fiber. For those of us that understand the game, we should feel much safer putting our money down chasing a two-outer on the river instead of investing in any high-finance sleight-of-hand schemes. Why? At least at the poker table, we know the odds.

Gimmicky poker shows. The World Poker Tour now features its “amateur hour” with their poker tournament/infomercial for ClubWPT.com. Phil Hellmuth further embarrasses himself, along with Annie Duke, with the “Best Damn Poker Show”. Even the Main Event decided to “spice things up” for TV. Memo to TV poker show producers: stick to what made these shows so compelling in the first place – cards, chips, cash and cojones.

OK, so maybe my November Nine prediction didn’t quite come out the way I would’ve liked. At least I got 2nd place right! On the PokerBRB forum, I asked some of the Danish players there why Eastgate didn’t crack a smile after he won. After all, if I’d won $9.1 million, I’d be doing cartwheels! When they explained the Danish tax situation to me, and how he’d fork over about 70% of his winnings to SKAT (the Danish IRS — a fitting acronym for a tax agency), I can see how his elation can turn to disappointment. That tax money will buy a lot of cheese- and cherry-filled pastries! (Get it?)

Anyway, now that the ‘08 WSOP is (FINALLY!) in the books, it’s time to look forward to the coming holidays and the promise of a new year as well as a (hopefully) more poker-friendly new administration. On a personal note, I’ll be starting the new year (or at least mid-January) trying to hit as many Vegas poker rooms as I can.

I’ve already played at the poker palaces like Bellagio and Venetian, but there are still a few of the high-end rooms I’d like to try.

Some of the poker areas on the Strip don’t qualify as rooms (the fenced-off area at the Flamingo immedately springs to mind), but I’d still like to check out the play at some of the smaller Strip casinos — maybe the action will make up for the lack of atmosphere.

Even a few of the Downtown rooms, despite their seedy exteriors, have great play on the inside. On my first visit to Binion’s, I made the final three at a small daily tournament. I can say, with absolute truth, that I made a final table at Binion’s!

Here are the top five poker rooms in Vegas I want to visit!

5. Mirage. The Mirage and its sister properties, TI and Bellagio, have been attracting poker players since they opened. While Bellagio hosts the WPT Championship, the Mirage typically hosts the season opener. Also, if I take a bad beat, I can just throw myself into the volcano!

4. Golden Nugget. Calling the Golden Nugget the nicest place to play downtown may be like calling a junked-out ‘57 Chevy the nicest car on the scrap heap.  While their poker room has only ten tables, the atmosphere in the room carries both a rich history as well as 21st century amenities. In photos, the room comes across as a “mini-Venetian” — comfortable, but scaled down.

3. Wynn. I’m not sure I have enough money to breathe the same air as most of the people that stay at the Wynn. I only hope that they don’t laugh at me too much for only playing $4/$8. Even their street sign says, “I’m richer than God!”

2. Hard Rock. For a room with only eighteen tables, the Hard Rock is going all out to make its “Poker Lounge” seem like the coolest place to play. Of course, an out-of-shape math nerd like me will stand out there like John McCain at an ACORN meeting.

1. Caesars Palace. Not only does Caesars have one of the best rooms in town, it has two! It’s the only place on the Strip that has separate rooms for tourneys and cash games. If you don’t want the loud rookie at the $3/$6 table to bother you during the money bubble of a tourney, no problem!

Of course, if you have any other rooms you’d like to recommend, either for the action or the atmosphere, then drop a comment here. Also, if you’d like to learn more about some of my strategic writing on no-limit hold’em, you can check my posts at www.pokerbankrollblog.com.

As a poker journalist, I should remain objective about my views regarding the relative merits of the November Nine. I should point out what a great story it would be for short stack Kelly Kim, if he could climb to the top of the mountain. A win by a young pro like Craig Marquis, David “Chino” Rheem or Scott Montgomery would launch their careers to stratospheric heights. An unknown like Darus Suharto, who cashed in at this event two years ago, would make a wonderful ambassador for the game, as would long-time tournament pro Ylon Schwartz. Poker could further expand its international appeal if the bracelet came to Gus Hansen disciple and fellow Dane Peter Eastgate or to the young Russian pro Ivan Demidov. Demidov also could cement his reputation as superstar of the game by winning this event after his third-place finish in the WSOP Europe main event last month.

Each of these skilled, intelligent, talented players has a wonderful story to tell.

Screw them all!

My pick to win is Dennis Phillips, an account manager for a trucking company in my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, US of By God A! He’s not young (53). He’s not brash or loud. Until now, he’s had as many cash finishes in major events as I have (1). He has refused to trade in his company shirt and autographed St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap for those with poker site logos, despite the money these sites are throwing his way; his loyalties to his friends, his coworkers and his hometown team are not for sale. He is, as Wicked Chops Poker described him, an “everyman”.

After watching all of the disgraceful, disgusting and ridiculous behavior we’ve seen during this year’s World Series, the sight of a triumphant everyman, similar to the site we witnessed five years ago, would be a pleasant and refreshing change of pace.

However, since Harrah’s and the WSOP still choose to bow at the feet of the four-letter network, I do have a suggestion for how the final heads-up battle should unfold. Ideally, the contestants in this fight would be the tough, gritty American Phillips and the young, cagey Russian Demidov.

Before the match, the two combatants shake hands and Demidov coldly glares into Phillips’ eyes as he whispers, “I must break you.”

Phillips returns the stare and replies, “Go for it.”

During the match, the sneaky Russian has the proud, plucky American almost down to the felt. In spite of his adversity, Phillips refuses to go down as he staggers and stumbles against the Russian’s relentless onslaught.

Phillips goes all in and Drago Demidov doubles him up. Phillips repeatedly doubles up until he establishes the chip lead. The entire crowd is chanting “USA! USA! USA!”

After a long, valiant struggle, Phillips finally puts away the Russian when he flops a nut straight and Dragodov misses his flush draw. The crowd cheers, the Stars and Stripes wave in the breeze of the air-conditioning vent and grown men weep in exultation. A battered, bloody Phillips, Old Glory draped on his shoulders, accepts his championship bracelet and the thanks of a grateful nation!

For those players that enjoy Sit and Go tournaments (as well as those crazy Wachowski brothers movies), Full Tilt Poker has a new spin on the standard one-table tourney in a setting called a Matrix Tournament. Some of these features include:

• Same opponents
• Different seats
• Four tables
• One Price

In a Full Tilt Matrix tournament, the prize pool is split into two categories. While players still win money for each top-three finish at each table, they also have the chance to earn cash prizes based on their cumulative point total at all four tables.

• For each player eliminated at a table, the remaining players earn one point.
• For each successful “knockout” (eliminating a player), the winning player earns two points.
• For each first-place finish at a table, the winner earns two points.

For full rules and descriptions, see Full Tilt’s Matrix Details Page.

This particular setting is a great way to test a player’s abilities against different types of opponents in different positions at the same time – an opportunity that many players may not find in any environment, live or online. As we look at each facet of this fun new innovation in online poker, we can see how each area can improve your poker skills.

Same opponents. If you’ve ever wished that a tough opponent were on one side of your position, only to have him seated on the opposite side and hindering your style, Matrix tournaments give you the chance to (literally) turn the tables. This setting gives you ample opportunity to observe players under different situations and positions simultaneously. How does the maniac react to a re-raise from out of position? Is the tight player you’ve targeted at one table really as tight as he seems at another? Is the player who put a bad beat on you really that lucky or is he truly better than he seems? When you play the same players in four different situations, you get four times the information and (ideally) will play four times better.

Different seats. The Full Tilt software assigns each of the nine players to different seats at each of the four tables. The maniacal raiser on your left at one table may be sitting two seats to your right at another. The Rock of Gibraltar may be on your left at one table, on your right at another, and directly across from you on a third. These different seating arrangements can make for very interesting variations in strategic approaches. When these assignments fit with your style of play, you can tweak your basic strategies and look for opportunities to exploit these favorable settings. When the styles and seating arrangements of your opponents don’t fit well with your comfort level, such adversity offers you a great chance to improve your game and good practice at playing in a wide variety of scenarios.

Four tables. If you’ve ever sung the old song, “Bad Beat Blues” after you were eliminated from a SNG, replace it with “Hit Me Baby, One More Time”! Even if you took a bad beat at one table, Full Tilt Matrix tourneys still give you three more chances. If you’ve ever lost to an inferior opponent and told yourself, “I know I can beat that guy,” Matrix tourneys give you three more opportunities to prove yourself. For anyone who has ever questioned whether poker is a game of luck or skill, they’ll see immediately how difficult it is to “get lucky” four times against the same players.

One price. One of the main attractions of Matrix tournaments is the fact that you can play four SNGs for only one price, starting as low as $1.25. For cost-conscious players, Matrix tournaments may be the best bargain since the invention of the satellite tournament. In these tough economic times, poker bargains are quickly becoming scarce. Full Tilt now has one of the best opportunities available.

While you don’t need to take a red pill to enter this Matrix, you’ll still have to battle powerful agents to determine if you truly are “the One.”